Be You

When I was single, I lived with four really wonderful roommates. They were each so beautiful and likeable and awesome in their own ways and I loved them (still do!). But in my weaker moments, I would compare myself to their best qualities and catch myself thinking, “If only I were more like her in this way...” Especially when it came to our dating lives. I wanted to put an end to this unhealthy train of thoughts, so I wrote two simple words on a bunch of yellow post-its and stuck them all over my world. “Be Steph.” I put them in my car, in my desk at work, on my bathroom mirror, on my nightstand. Whenever I caught myself comparing, I would remind myself to just Be Steph— the very best Steph I could be. When someone fell in love with me, he wasn’t gonna love me because I was a good copycat of someone else, he was going to love me because I was me. I remember one of the first times my husband came over to pick me up for a date. One of my beautiful roommates answered the door and I could hear them downstairs talking. “Oh great,” I thought, “He’s going to fall in love with her like every guy does and that will be the end of that.” But I remember his face as I walked down the stairs. He looked up at me, his face lit up and he didn’t care who else was in the room, he only had eyes for ME. Steph. The comparison game is so easy and still so tempting, but there is so much power in loving yourself and giving the world the best version of you— in all your quirky, wonderful, unique glory. This advice helped me so much in dating, but it continues to help me every time I put myself out there in any way even right now. No one else can be me in quite the way I can.  [“Be You” 6x6, available at the #100dollarshow at the @springvillemuseum 11/30!]