self portrait

August is my birthday month and this year I decided to start a new tradition: I wanted to paint a self portrait every year on my birthday. If you follow my art, you know that I hardly ever paint detailed faces-- I usually avoid them at all costs. But this felt like a fun challenge and also a fun goal going forward. A way I could mark two things at once 1) my changing face over time, and 2) my skills as a portrait painter over time. Faces are so complex because there is such a mathmatical science to how things line up (the center of the eye with the corners of the mouth, the hairline coming halfway between the top of the head and the eyeline, the outside corners of the nose lining up with the inside corners of the eyes, etc). If you turn a face a little to an angle or someone's making an expression that changes the features, it challenges it even more. This is why we're so critical of faces that look "wrong" and we can't always put our finger on why it's off but we don't like looking at it (my family has a long joked about painting of my grandpa we call "Cross-Eyed Joe"). On top of that, every artist has their own style and flare so adding a little color or loose brushstrokes or playing with the thickness of paint or how you apply it to a traditional portrait becomes even more of a game. But oh what fun it is to play the game of art! I've hesitated sharing these (for all these reasons I just named... I'm sure we can pick apart all my flaws), but I'm posting anyway because I'm proud of how fun it was to make art. I'm proud of figuring out little solutions, like shading/shaping the bottom angle of a nostril skin to make it look right. I'm proud of being vulnerable and learning and trying new things always, because how else are we ever going to grow? Can't wait to see what I can learn in the coming year. For now, "42."